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*Clears Throat*…….This was not what I was supposed to talk about today, in fact, it was not part of the topics I have down for this diaries but I don’t think I can do away with this topic.

You see when you enter university, it is A BIG PLACE…but when you don’t take care you would not fit. Moreover, most people enter university in their late teens specifically 17, 18 years onwards. At this stage, we all know our hormones are up and we want to have someone to call our own….something more than just friendship…a romantic relationship.

I am aware that in some countries especially in Ghana when the first years arrive, the guys in level 300 and 400 are all over them and want to grab their catch. The wisdom is in knowing those who should not make it past a hello and those you should completely avoid. This is especially to the girls…because in this instance we are always the ones who are victims in this circumstance.

I have heard stories of young girls who came all the way from back home (Africa) from very good homes to school here in the UK who have ended up getting pregnant in their first year just because of a relationship which should not even have begun in the first place. The truth is most people, especially guys, have fun with these relationships and it is nothing serious…It is normally termed as ‘help me pass my course/graduate type of relationships’. Now, I am not saying ALL relationships are like this but to be honest not so many relationships that start in university make it to engagement not to talk about marriage (my opinion).

Now let me put this here: You will not die if you are not in a relationship whilst in university and it is not weird. I understand that sometimes the pressure is real…I have felt it because most of my friends were and it looked nice…but that should not be. We must get to a point where we stay focused on the topmost priority at every stage in life. It is better to be single and have maximum time for your studies than being in a dead end relationship which will give you nothing than headaches and heartaches and end up diverting your attention from your books. Every other thing is secondary. I remember an older friend of mine kept on pestering me with questions of being in a relationship and what not…I kept on giving her the same answer as NO but she would not have it…And I wondered why? I explained to her I don’t need it and I don’t think it is necessary at this point in time. When the time is right, it will happen. Of course, she still was not convinced because as I am, I have to be in a relationship by hook or crook especially with all the guys on campus…but who said I was looking at them..or they were my focus? (This is where you see that our society is messed up….everything must be about getting a man, married and what not *rolls eyes*).

To all the young girls out there still pursuing their degrees and even to the guys who may feel pressured to be in a relationship just because that is the order of the day…don’t be fooled…they might NOT be as they seem to be. Even if you see someone you would like to pursue or be in a relationship with, do so with wisdom. Don’t spend all your time with this person when you know you have courseworks to do and exams are around the corner. Don’t go over the top with things. Make yourself and your parents proud by always making sensible decisions. Put some *respeck* on your name and value yourself. First things first…Getting that degree done and dusted first, everything else WILL fall into place.

Thanks for reading…Let me know your thoughts!

Raise your hand up if you have ever been guilty of this. I would like to say this quickly that do not stress too much when you sometimes feel you are not doing enough or you just don’t know what is going on…I have been there done that!

I think it was either the end of my first year or so…I was like okay….Now I don’t know anymore. At first, I thought coursework was the best because it gives me much time to research, plan and really nail the assignment. It was going on for a while then there came a time where I thought well maybe I prefer exams as I was doing much better in exams…the reason is I could study particular topics, go to the exam room, sit there for an hour and a half, two or three hours, nail it and then I am done! Yet I also got to a point where I performed better in coursework than exam….So I was like Okay, so what do I do now?

In this instance, I had had a taste of both situations and concluded that whatever the situation is, whether exam or coursework I needed to make up my mind that I am going to really do it well and get a good mark…That is the attitude we all need when it comes to performing a role or a task…even if it does not go the way you want…at least you TRIED.

But sometimes, I won’t have it. I make comparisons of past actions I took and the results I had which were not so good and concluded that this is also going to be the same. I remember a time in my second year, on the last day of the exam, I had two papers to write. I have never had that before coupled with the fact that it was second-year too…the stress level was too much. The night before the exams I hardly slept. In fact, I was in the library throughout the night with other coursemates. Everybody wanted to nail their papers.

The exam day came, I was all smiles went in…and nailed it…well that is what I thought! Results came and I was like wawu! What went wrong? I thought I had done so well and as such deserved nothing but the best mark….I quickly thought; ‘I hate exams…coursework would have done it for me’. But I have been in a situation when it was a coursework and it also did not go as planned.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nailed assignments and exams before…there was no cause for alarm. However, when I did not see the fruit of my labor….I tend to think if it was either exams or coursework I would have performed better.

Truth is…this is life. You can be confident you will be successful at doing something but it turns out you won’t. It does not mean you begin to shift blames on other people or all the other alternatives you thought you would have rather been successful had you tried those. Anytime something did not go as planned, I think to myself what will make it better the next time around…

I needed to learn a lesson right there. STOP thinking too much when your harvest is not as BIG as you expected. STOP thinking it is the end. It only ENDS when you say so. Don’t have that mentality that of shifting blames especially when things go south.

There will always be exams. There will always be coursework. As long as you are a student. Irrespective of your expectations or reality have a positive attitude nevertheless. It ALWAYS helps.

Me I won’t lie o…I said this at a point….because the pressure was too much for me. It’s one of those things…No matter how you claimed to love your course and all that it comes with…I am pretty sure there will be one or two modules that will annoy you so much that you wish you never took that programme or course in the first place!

But looking at the bigger picture we cannot always be distracted by a singular aspect of the whole dream, goal or ambition….This and many other reasons are why some people are never successful in life…Now I know there are exceptions…I know people who have changed courses either in their 1st, 2nd, 3rd semesters or even the beginning of their 2nd year…sometimes these things must happen…because some people may have genuinely made a mistake from the onset.

However my blog post today is targeted at those who mainly love everything about their course yet when it gets very tough (especially in 2nd or final year) they feel the next best thing to do is to look for an escape route (either leave university or switch to a seemingly easier course). The thing is…no course is entirely EASY…I find it very funny when people perceive certain degrees relatively easy compared to other popular ones that may seem demanding. No matter the course you are reading, there comes a time when it seems VERY difficult…but if you ask any graduate or continuing student…they will talk you through what they did to scale through the most difficult times during their studies.

Of course different strokes for different folks…there is no one size fits all! When I had the urge to quit somewhere in my 2nd year….I thought about how far I had come…I thought about the fact that I will disappoint myself and also not fulfilled the main purpose for which I came to the UK…These thoughts were more personalized than about others…For instance I was not really concerned about what other people will say…including my parents..as for them…first they will be disappointed and of course, talk about it for several months and eventually stop….What outsiders will say…that was very irrelevant…The fact that I had my future self to thank for, for my determination and resilience made me forge ahead even when the desire to quit was there in the midst of frustration.

For others, they have to still hang in on there because they may be doing it for their parents…Yes, I know some people who are not pursuing the courses they really want to but because their parents think it is what they should do….in this instance even if you hate that course…trust you have to PRETEND well. For others counseling will do…again make use of Student Counselling Centres…It is for situations like this that is why such places are there for you to go to.

Finally…It is not always about the content of your course that really matters..when you complete it…it will make you grow as a person and you would have built certain skills that are important for life…it will teach you that it will not always be about what you enjoy the most but finding strength and excitement in a situation whereby it is clear you are NOT happy…Happiness should not even be about whatever situation you find yourself in…IT IS A CHOICE…

I decided to pause with the University Diaries and resume next week….or maybe later this week. So I made a tough yet very necessary decision this week and would like to share what I learned out of it with you all.

I am sure we have all heard those motivational messages which have told us to keep on going, never give up, and what not. That is TRUE….very true….but sometimes when you can’t help it or the situation is draining you that much that it’s driving you crazy….please understand what you can or cannot take and walk away…MOVE ON.

I recently quit a job…I was so excited to have been offered it but nope..far from that! I quit in the beginning before it’s too late…Someone would have said oh do it for some time and maybe you might grow to like it….I had that thought too..but I would probably have been depressed if I had done it longer than I should…I know the best is yet to come! I have always gotten something BETTER the moment I walked away from something I disliked…yes I needed a job…I needed the money…but my sanity and happiness are more IMPORTANT.

Recently, I lost a close family member….I have been mourning in my own way…by being very reflective….I think we sometimes don’t know how short life is to be pursuing things just for money sake…or still be stuck in jobs we hate or whatever…Oh! Only if we KNEW how short life is! If money could bring back this family member I am sure he would have been ALIVE today…but no…It is important we start LIVING and stop EXISTING…nothing good in life comes easy…so it’s high time you started pursuing your OWN dreams like today was your last day on earth and stop thinking of what society, your parents or whoever will say.

Unless you move, nothing can HAPPEN. LIVE….THE TIME IS NOW.

P.S Please follow my IG Page..specifically for blog updates and more! Have a blessed week!

Gertrude 🙂

Ah well…everyone likes to have fun isn’t it? Even for those who are too serious all the time…once in a while it’s OKAY to let your hair down….Well, Life is too short to be serious all the time init? But on a more serious note, if you are not careful, you might lose balance and begin to have too much fun which might cost you a great deal.

I don’t know about other universities but in Leeds, there were many events and parties for students especially during the weekends….some of them happened every weekend others during the weekdays. It was quite common that many students get drunk to end up skipping lectures, seminars or other important commitments which in the end may have an effect on their academic life….

The most important thing is you need to understand that you can’t do anything about those wild parties being organized or not…you have to be disciplined to understand which ones to be part of or not. Also, the need to apply the concept of ‘opportunity cost’ (well I am an Economist so I might as well use some terms). So imagine you have a deadline for an assignment in the next few days and you have two parties or even student events to attend on those same days. The opportunity cost of attending those parties is your assignments undone and vice versa. The problem is whichever choice you make, there is a consequence. Leaving an assignment to the last minute and spending about few hours to complete may result in not tackling the assignment very well and as such getting grades lower than you should have had. However planning your time very well and dedicating ample time for the assignment and afterwards using that party to cool off may be the right thing to do which will certainly pay off eventually…that is if you don’t want to compromise when it comes to your studies.

In relation to this, friends will play a vital role in your life whilst in university. In the beginning, I was acquainted with some people in some classes but of course as time went on, I hardly saw many people and it was those who I really clicked with that remained my friends throughout. I am a type of person who does not fancy having lots of friends…from experience, it is too much trouble and drama….I was privileged to have very few friends who were there for me especially during hard times, who I could share some personal stuff with, who we could cook together, eat together, have some fun together and all that…and of course motivated me to stay on top….I am trying hard not to mention their names but I am sure they know themselves (My Naija people!).

In having all those fun times too…whether too extreme, moderate or whichever your choice is, make sure you are not lagging behind amongst your group of friends. My Maths and Science teacher told my class something in our final year of high school. He said..’Know that at the end of the day you all came from different homes and you all met each other and have created friendships and all sorts…but when your final results come, everyone takes theirs to their respective homes’. This was very relevant at the time especially as some people who were not very academically good befriend the very good ones yet won’t tap into their knowledge but rather just mess around with them and at the end of the day, they end up at the losing end the most. This is very applicable at any stage of education you find yourself. Make sure you are surrounded by people who can help in academic progress as well as other aspects and when you are ‘chilling’ together too you are doing so with sense.

At the end of the day, we may not get it right sometimes which is okay due to our fallible nature. You may, one day, be carried away by one night out you had and mess things up for a particular week or semester. The wisdom is in realizing where you went wrong, righting those wrongs and strategize your next moves so as not to fall into that same ditch again. But when it becomes a repeated action it becomes a habit….like someone said ‘We are what we repeatedly do’.

It will be very sad on your graduation day to realize all your friends are graduating on top of their classes whilst you are nowhere near that (when you know you could have also attained what they had). There is WISDOM in knowing how and when to draw the line between having fun and wasting your future…..The CHOICE is YOURS!

Sigh…I know this feeling! I know at times we all had that urge to quit….Just because we want to and WE CAN….at that moment, no motivational message or word of encouragement makes sense…it’s not like we don’t know..we know but pssstt….

I remember at the beginning of my Foundation year, I was kinda excited because I was like I am ready for this…I will smash this first assignment….after all is it not me? (not being over confident but I knew myself…). Then the results of this particular assignment came and what???? I was very devastated, pissed, angry, annoyed…..(let’s stop here because I might not finish!) I was angry at myself, God and everyone. Like, I dedicated lots of time to nailing this assignment and this…I could not take it!…I even remember crying on my way home…on the bus…I met this lady who encouraged me that it’s fine…and that I had other assignments to prove myself worthy…she even gave an instance whereby she wanted to graduate with a 2:1 but ended up with a 2:2. I thought to myself hmmm….My situation is NOT too bad after all….But….the 2nd and 3rd assignments did not go too well either that at a point I was thinking if I was going to pass the programme at all. My MINDSET changed and I did exceed pass rate in the end…

This and many other experiences do students face in university….especially thinking of how demanding courseworks and exams are…seminars and all that….having to balance with your personal life. Then I conclude that…NOT everyone can survive in university…which is fine because as humans we all have limits to what we can take and what not. I remember in my 1st year, a girl in my course quit because she could not stand the pressure and moreover she was not enjoying the course anymore (Economics is TOUGH!)…Fast forward to my 2nd year when I was literally drowning in assignments, exams, and all sorts…I was like it was a good idea that this girl quit earlier other than staying to experience all these! I also thought oh well maybe she could have stayed and fought harder…who knows she could have been victorious in the end.

But you see…sometimes in tough scenarios when for example you failed an exam, coursework, not enjoying your course, falling behind in class etc… you have a CHOICE which will determine what your next phase will be. Someone in this girl’s position would have stayed and fought and still quit in the second year or may not have made it to their second year…and probably fall into a major depression in the process (wasting too much time!). So for her, quitting may have been the best choice and who knows she might find her passion somewhere else maybe not necessarily in university!

I am not in anyway encouraging quitting as an escape route when faced with tough times especially whilst in university but just be sure of whatever decision you make. Another example was a very tough time in my second year in university. Trust me when I say I almost quit…I did not really care about what my parents or other people were going to say after all…my LIFE, my CHOICE…but because of the resilience I had built from past disappointments and able to conquer I knew I could do this too…which I DID. After graduation, I did a self-evaluation and thought to myself, I would have lost all I achieved especially in my final year if I had thrown in the towel way too early!

Talking to someone too is very essential. For people like me, I find it very difficult to open up to people…especially when you don’t know how they will receive the information and process it hence…and more importantly spilling! But at least we all have one or two people we could open up to. Moreover, in universities, there are student counseling centers where students could go to for confidential sessions….talking to your personal tutor too could be another option (I happened to have a very lovely personal tutor who I could open up to). Whichever person you are I am sure you could fit into one of these categories.

Sometimes there is help but we do not know because we do not ask…ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE. If you are struggling with a course and you know any of your mates who are very good in it…befriend them so they can help you…go and see your lecturer during office hours, there was a Nightline service for people who are going through tough times to just call and talk and talk and talk…. (very confidential)…if you have it, USE IT!

REMEMBER: Don’t beat yourself up for hitting a rough patch,,, we all do, and we mostly don’t feel like getting back up or making the situation any better…but the question is….IF YOU DONT HELP YOURSELF FIRST, WHO WILL?

ONE! #PovertyisSexist #ONEYouth2017 #EUbudget2018 #TheONEcampaign…..

These hashtags were trending on social media a week ago! Yes, the youth ambassadors include myself were very active and passionate in using their voice to end poverty in Africa by 2030 and more importantly reducing the number of girls who were out of school.

(Right now, there are 130 million girls out of school worldwide….with over 51 million in Africa alone….If this were a country, it will be the 10th LARGEST in the world….these are all potential politicians, influencers, entrepreneurs, entertainers, lawyers, engineers, doctors and what have you…..ACTION IS NOW!)

I am very elated to be part of such a movement. I still cannot believe the Summit is over! Such an honor to be in the European Parliament in Brussels, Belgium on the International Day of Eradication of Poverty (17th October) to negotiate and discuss with these leaders to vote for EU budget aid in 2018 towards girl child education in Africa. This aid, of course, has financed the education of many girls in Africa, Carribean, and Pacific in the past….and the quest to cut it now will not augur well for these girls…I am hopeful if not all most of these Members of Parliament we had discussions with will vote in support of our movement…I am confident about that!

The 4-day event saw over 200 youth ambassadors typically between the ages of 18 to 35 coming from most European countries, USA, Canada and Nigeria to add their voice to the ongoing ONE campaign with the slogan Poverty is Sexist. Some people may find it hard to understand especially when I posted something related to the ONE campaign on my Instagram page one time and someone was arguing with me about this slogan…..(we are just basically saying that educating girls especially is imperative for a family’s development which in turn is important for a nation’s development). This is in accordance with what one Kwegyir Aggrey said that ‘If you educate a man you educate an individual and if you educate a woman you educate a whole nation’. It is not necessarily because that of boys is not necessary but the tradition of boys being superior to girls has seen many boys in school when girls are outside school taking care of the home…due to poverty.

It was an exciting four-day summit. Met amazing people who I plan to stay in touch with! Had amazing conversations….and of course contacts! The energy was on point! It gives me so much joy that young people are now much involved with such global issues…and of course adding OUR VOICE….It is no longer the responsibility of government leaders or politicians alone….it is the responsibility of all of us to speak up for CHANGE.

l am also supportive that ONE asks for nothing but your VOICE…that my voice will go a long way to end poverty in Africa and get many girls in school as soon as possible or as long as it takes….

You don’t necessarily have to be a youth ambassador to be part of the movement but you can just go to https://www.one.org/international/ for more information and how you could also add your voice. I was actually involved with ONE in the form of subscribing to receive emails and signing petitions before applying to become a UK Youth ambassador (I got rejected the 1st time I applied but I gave it another shot two years later).

This has given me the urge to also start some of my projects related to this very soon…God help me! Can’t wait to see what comes forth!

Thanks to the ONE UK team especially for holding it down! You are all awesome and very much appreciated.

With much LOVE,

Gertrude.

P.S. Please feel free to ask any questions regarding this. I will be very glad to answer all of them.

We need to understand that attending university is not just about you and your books….Of course that is important. Infact, it is the primary reason or should I say among the primary reasons you are there. But university REALLY prepares you for life and it is not always about book knowledge!

You see, whether we like it or not, when going for a job interview even after attaining that 1st class, you will be asked questions like ‘Tell us a time where you used your own initiative to solve a problem or a time where you were in a challenging situation and what did you do?’ In that instance you are not meant to be talking about the stuff you learnt in lectures or seminars or whatever…..you are expected to have engaged in some extra curricular activities outside your studies which will enable you gain those skills needed for the set job. Even before you get to the interview stage, you will be expected to fill in an application form or attach a CV and of course you would have to highlight some roles you took on and the skills developed hence.

Like I mentioned before, not only are these skills needed for a job but for life and it is a gradual process. A wise student will harness those skills whilst in university especially or even before university.

University is tough no doubt. Going for early morning lectures, being caught up in assignments, studying for exams, dealing with those annoying flatmates and what have you…..but the key word is BALANCE…There are mostly lots of societies on campus….Of course you are not expected to join all of them! But join as much as you can! In Leeds, there were about 250 student societies, so to say you dont even join one single society is quite strange! You never know how far that will take you. When I first went to Leeds, I knew there were societies there to join but the problem was how I will get involved in them…..so I started with one…Thankfully I ran into the then president of the Ghana Society who warmly welcomed me into the society where I was later assigned an executive position. That was among the first positions I took in uni and I learnt a lot…..amidst the challenges and struggles.

This also involves taking a lot of risks….I am VERY thankful for Leeds for the exposure and the opportunities it gave me and the fact that I took advantage of it! I can boldly say that I could not have gotten this anywhere. If you want to build your experience or CV then apply for that position on the student portal that excites you so much…..if you don’t get in apply for it the following year if it becomes available. I remember 3 opportunities I got rejected from the 1st year I applied for them….I tried the 2nd year and I got in….The thing is we are sometimes too lazy and don’t even want to try…not to talk of trying again….but you NEVER know.

I remember in my 1st year, a scholarship opportunity became available and it was in my faculty….the first of its kind and only one available to a 1st year student. I thought to myself other people will apply for it and what are my chances of getting it….What even put me off the more was the whole application process….But I ignored all those and applied….I still say till date that, that was the EASIEST application process I have ever been through. Like it was nothing compared to what was advertised. That scholarship was filled wiith lots…went to many places , met amazing people and did amazing things…all thanks to it. I just sit back and think what I would have missed out….Had I not even TRIED applying!

Due to my involvement in lots of activities, I can say I had quite a rich experience whilst leaving university which went on to open other opportunities for me. I had made a huge impact in my faculty and the university as a whole which led to being honoured in several ways….same after completing my degree. It helped me in discovering myself, learning more about myself and understanding my interests better.

You don’t want to leave university wishing you had done this or that…Those 3 years…well except your degree is in the field of Sciences…come and go very quickly….like I could not even believe I was graduating! Do it NOW….NOW….NOW. If there any conferences that could help in the advancement of your knowledge in your degree attend….even if you have to pay to attend….you will NEVER have it all for FREE…I have had to do that few times in university especially when it was too late to get funding….If there are any talks, seminars organised by your faculty, attend and interact! Don’t just waste these opportunities! There was only one thing I missed out doing in university which involved travelling to China but even with that I had another commitment so it was not really my fault but I can always travel to China. There are some things you would NOT get to do again…So please do them NOW when you have the opportunity!

Thanks for reading. Please share your thoughts and follow for future updates.

Gertrude.

I was super excited to gain admission to University of Leeds….I did not know too much about the University but from what I had heard and researched after my admission, it was one of the best in the UK….at least my hardwork had paid off…..All those times I had to be writing my personal statement and at the same time preparing for my final year exams in secondary school…..September was here and the holidays were over….Time for University!

Ahh… I still remember my first day in university! Haha…so clueless and wondering Oh My God…How am I going to survive here? This is very normal especially when you find yourself in a new environment. You begin to have several thoughts in your mind ranging from how you will cope with some annoying lecturers and boring lectures, who your flat mates are going to be, how you are going to miss home (especially when you cant be bothered to cook all those home made dishes)….you know you know….

In my situation, starting university also meant experiencing a new type of culture and learning how to embrace it. To me, it was going to be one hell of an interesting adventure…no matter what happened. Of course during the Freshers week, there were series of programmes scheduled for freshers to get used to campus and prepare them for the life ahead…..for me it was 4 years! One of the programs that stood out for me was that about ‘Culture Shock’. I mean it is REAL! You may go to another country or environment probably thinking you are still in your old environment because of course it will take some time for you to adjust to the surroundings…..but whilst adjusting you may encounter someone or something that could throw you off balance.  So in summary….I was in Rome so I needed to do what the Romans did or were doing. Truly most of my fellow first years enjoyed the play which touched on the subject on Culture Shock…..

For my first year of university, I was going to do a Foundation Year Programme for my degree in Economics….like I was confident I will not only pass but excel! (I am a Gey Hey girl after all….) In fact after my first meeting with the Programme Director he told me the grades I needed to get and in my mind I was like,,,’Oh this should be easy!’ From the mouths of past students of the Foundation Year Program was….‘You will be FINE’! I  am sure many of us have heard this many times especially when we have began a new journey or faced with an obstacle among others….These four words carry a lot of weight and also could mean different things to different people…..

For me, when I was told that….I understood it that I needed to do what I was supposed to do…that is work hard and be hopeful and at the end I will reap a good harvest…but to another it could mean that oh…..’it is not really a big deal…after all what….’ Your way of grasping something that is meant to give you hope or motivate you is also another thing you need to be careful about.

When I talk to students who came after me for the program and even to other people and I say ‘You will be fine’, I expect them to understand it in the way I deem it…Go for those lectures, do your assignments, submit them on time, ask questions, be involved in extra curricular activities etc…..like do those things that will let you succeed in the end!

The bitter truth is we were all told this phrase ‘You will be fine’ but we all had different results in the end….Some passed, some did not, others excelled! The wisdom is in grasping the information, not being carried away too much and doing the needful!

Did I like the University….HAHA of course!…Infact I grew to LOVE it in the end! Did I think I was going to survive there…Possibly….the interesting thing is, it gave me vibes of my secondary school in Ghana and so I was ready for this phase. But….this was just the BEGINNING.……there was so much more to come….and for some things that happened….BRUH! I WASN’T READY!

Stay tuned for the next episode of University Diaries in the next few days…..Let me know in the comment section what some of yor thoughts were your first day on your University campus…..or some of the topics you would like me to touch on…God Bless!

Gertrude (Geezy is my nickname!)