Author: gertrudeasumadu

Hey everyone!

I hope you are doing well :).

I was not initially planning to blog today (though it’s been a while) but I was just reminded that it has been exactly 8 years since I started blogging! How time flies!

I thank God for the gift of being able to write – I don’t consider myself as a professional writer (maybe I will be in the next couple of years) but I am thankful for your positive comments and feedback which keeps me going. For instance people telling me ‘You write well‘ or ‘I enjoyed reading this‘ means a lot to me!

I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing my thoughts on diverse issues with you (my audience) and also with the wider public – and I hope you have found them thought provoking, informative and educative above all.

I may not have been as consistent as I have always wanted to be (eg. a blog post per month) but I am glad I still get to do this as and when I can – and you are still here with me. I really appreciate it!

If you are seeing this post, this may be a sign for you to start doing anything you have in mind to do. You do not necessarily need to have everything figured out – just start and figure out the rest in the process.

I would love to hear from you what your favourite blog post so far and what topics would you like us to explore?

Again thank you for reading, liking, commenting on and sharing my posts – I do appreciate it!

Stay tuned for my next blog post.

Stay safe and take care. With lots of love,

Gertrude 🙂

Hey guys! I hope you are all doing well! I am back with an interesting post! I hope you enjoy reading 🙂

Today, I would like to touch on a trending topic on Twitter Ghana for the past 24 hours at least! Summarily, the first episode of The Rants, Bants and Confessions dropped and one of the hosts, Gisela Amponsah, dropped a bombshell (well according to the reception) that she hates her dad, considers him a demon and doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. Now as expected in the Ghanaian society, opinions started flying left, right and centre on how you are not allowed to talk about your parents in such a manner – it is disrespectful. Some people even found a way to bring marriage into the conversation – which man will marry you, you won’t respect him…(SIGH!)

Now, one thing I have learned in my almost 31 years living is not to judge a path I have never walked or a situation I have never been in. I have seen many takes on this issue which have been crass, unfortunate and VERY STUPID (to say the least!). Everyone on Twitter has a good relationship with their parents or have perfect families – we try to be delusional to avoid being logical. We all KNOW that not all parents are responsible and in fact, a hill I am willing to die on is not everyone should have been a parent or should be a parent. And this is why I hate the stupid pressure society gives every Tom, Dick and Harry to get married and have children. Horrible and unhealed people are getting married and having children – continuing the cycle of bringing damaged people into the world – like we don’t have enough damage already in the world.

Now back to the topic, this girl expressed how she feels due to the neglect and irresponsible nature of her dad. She is clearly experiencing trauma. Regardless of what you think or feel, remember that her feelings are valid. Some of you may not have experienced neglect before so you think everyone is like you so you try to belittle their experiences. However you think she should have said it does not matter as well and yes she brought it to a public platform, it doesn’t mean you should be stupid and not extend grace in your submission.

Another thing I despise so much in Ghanaian society is the idea that every elderly person is right or deserves respect – no wonder we are where we are as a country. In fact, Kojo Cue, a Ghanaian rapper could not have said it better…

In Ghana, they say an elderly person is always right and the younger person is always wrong – how do you expect accountability from your leaders when you think this way? The joke is really on you. The truth is our system is messed up! We accept all sorts of nonsense from the elderly and leaders and wonder why we are not progressing. LOL! Instead of you being mad at her for expressing her feelings towards a deadbeat parent, why don’t you look around you and see the number of people within your circle and society that are damaged due to absent parents and how it has affected their view on relationships and love. Because the repercussions of the neglect is the real issue here, not her outburst. I am always surprised when people miss the point and are quick to type just to deliver a ‘banger’ (like they say on Twitter). These are real life issues affecting real people and not a fiction to be subjected to nasty jokes and trolling.

I could go and on because this is a big topic that cannot be dissected in a single blog post. I will conclude by saying as a society we really need to do better when it comes to being understanding and not necessarily having to compare our situations to others and then tell them how they should or should not have reacted. NO! Everyone is different…the projection MUST stop! And parents..especially the deadbeat ones, do not get offended when your children refuse to have any form of relationship with you later on in life. As a parent, you have a greater responsibility to your child than they do to you. If you miss out on important moments in their life especially at a younger age, don’t expect ‘I am sorry’ or a Bible verse to fix things – it is NOT that straightforward. And to parents to be or current parents, I hope you are or become responsible parents – to rid yourself of being called out like this/so your children are proud to have you as parents. And to those who are in the habit of looking for reasons to always defend nonsense and find a way to blame victims, continue! Life will humble you real soon at least so you understand that sometimes, just shut up if you have nothing better to say.

And to Gisela Amponsah, I don’t know the details and I don’t need to know but I hope you heal with time and maybe some time in the future, you forgive your father whether or not he comes around (trust me, sometimes they won’t due to arrogance or the type of counsel they get). I hope you truly heal. You are LOVED!

Thank you so much for taking out time to read today’s post – I hope you enjoyed reading. Stay tuned for the next! Take care and God bless you!

As some of you may know, the UK elections took place last week Thursday (4th July) which saw the Labour Party emerge as the winner of the elections.

I have not participated in an election before – whether in the UK or in Ghana but I wanted this to be my first but unfortunately, I was not able to vote (story for another day).

With the emergence of a new government, there are a lot of expectations especially in the times that we are living in – climate crisis, increasing poverty & inequality rates, the falling standards of the NHS among others. The Labour Party has a lot of work to do! However, they cannot fix all these problems and many more in a year or two or even in the next 5 years – only with a magic wand can they achieve that. However, with a landslide victory such as this, I am looking forward to seeing the policies that they will bring on board across all sectors of the economy and how that will positively influence the lives of UK residents.

As an activist with the ONE Campaign, I engaged the Prospective Parliamentary Candidates (PPCs) within my constituency, who were 7 in total – I emailed all 7 of them introducing myself to them and asking them how their government plans to increase the UK’s role within international development. I only received a reply from one – the Liberal Democrats PPC, Dominic Griffiths.

Following that, I attended an election hustings – an event where you get to hear from the PPCs, their manifestos and also get to ask questions! I did not manage to ask a question due to the time limit but it was interesting to hear from the candidates which in a way influenced who I was going to vote for. Shortly after the event, I spoke to Dominic Griffiths and thanked him for responding to my email and had a brief discussion with him with a colleague present as well.

Fast forward to last Friday, I was selected as an audience for the BBC Question Time in London – just a day after the elections. The panel discussion was led by BBC journalist, Fiona Bruce with representatives from Labour, Conservatives, the Reform Party and Liberal Democrats. It was just an hour long conversation which got heated with lots of people wanting to ask questions (as expected). I fortunately got to ask my question but did not get my question answered due to time and also the conversation focusing mostly on Gaza (which is understandable). Shortly after, I was interviewed by one of the BBC team wanting to know my thoughts which I provided.I left there with a bit of mixed feelings especially with some of the submissions of the panelist but that is to be expected especially when it comes to politics. However, for me, I am always mostly concerned about the country first before political parties and I hope the Labour Party under Sir Keir Stamer leads the country to a more than satisfactory level on all fronts! Fingers crossed!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Stay tuned for the next!

June is here! Happy New month folks….

It’s been a while, I know. Life can get busy as we know.

The past couple of weeks, I have been out and about. I have moved to a new city (yes! I love new beginnings), attended a residential, attended an Awards event, been busy with other engagements on the side. But above all, I have been keeping well despite life, ‘lifeing‘…

Having lived in Leeds for a little over a decade now, and even though I have been in and out for a couple of times, I have always wanted a change of environment but I’d say, the right opportunity hadn’t presented itself yet. So I did it eventually and I am proud of myself for doing so and I couldn’t have done so without the support of my good friend and sis – Patience Afudego, my bestie & favourite cousin – Godfrey Sakyi and my kind and sweet friend – Elsie Quayson. God bless you all very much! 

Back in May 2017, I won an award as the ‘Young Achiever of the Year’ at the Women4Africa Awards. This was the second award I had won after I finished university – I was elated. 7 years later, I was invited for their 10th year anniversary last month and it was nostalgic being there. It was also an opportunity to see other women being honoured for their contributions towards society. I also partook in their Empowerment Summit, a day before the awards, which was also an avenue to hear from women who have been successful in their careers and the challenges faced. I interacted with some of them and took some nice pictures (as usual!)

A week later, I was at a Residential programme kind courtesy of my role as a community leader with the ONE Campaign UK. This is an event that takes place every year – where we strategize our campaign actions for the remaining part of the year. For this year, our focus is mostly on the General Elections (little did we know it will be fixed for 4th July) and I had an amazing time hearing from others concerning their campaign plans, giving and also receiving feedback on mine. The Residential is also an opportunity to interact with fellow CLs (community leaders) and YAs (youth ambassadors), share our campaigning plans and catch up on other things – be it personal or professional. At this year’s residential, we celebrated Africa Day in a special way! We had a fashion show and yours truly partook in it (cos why not?) It was an opportunity to showcase Ghanaian clothing and as a lover of traditional clothing, I couldn’t disappoint! I had fun at this particular residential and it was good catching up with familiar faces and also meeting new people.

Above all the challenges faced, I like to find myself engaging in other things and being busy – because why not? 

I am looking forward to so much this year and beyond. God willing it is DONE!

Thank you for reading my brief catch up – looking forward to doing this often or as and when! God bless us all!

In case you didn’t know, April was Autism Awareness month – something I wasn’t aware of till this year (YES!) even though I have an autistic brother.

This will be the first time I am speaking about the fact that I have an autistic brother – maybe because there hasn’t been an opportunity to. Or maybe because I am now working with GUBA Foundation on the #AutismIamNotaStigma Campaign which I am the project coordinator. 

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a disability which is mostly diagnosed in the early stages of lives in children – mostly between 2 to 4 years old. Children with autism normally face problems in communication & social interaction, learning and may also have repeated behaviors or interests, difficulty in paying attention, concentrating among others. The challenge in dealing with people with autism varies from one person to the other. In other words, the autism spectrum is wide and symptoms & behaviours differ as well as challenging behaviour they may exhibit. Whilst others may be enrolled in ‘special’ schools to manage the condition, others are also able to go through the ‘normal’ school system just like any of us. There are many people especially in developing and even developed countries who may be autistic but may just not know yet because they have not been diagnosed yet.  

My brother was diagnosed with autism when he was about 3 years old and since then it has been years of trying to adjust to the condition and to accept that this is going to be his way of life – something most parents find it hard to do (which I will not blame them). My brother is sweet and loving but he can be challenging to deal with when he has his upsetting moments as someone living with autism. The worst is when these behaviours are exhibited in public – because sometimes you don’t know what to do! But I have grown to accept this part of him.

There is so much stigma about the condition within the black community and that is why this project is close to my heart and we are looking forward to reaching as many people as we can with this especially when people equate autism to spiritual or some supernatural causes. There are so many examples of this which are personal and I would not like to go into detail but hear me out! Autism is a medical condition just like you have PCOS, dyslexia, sickle cell anaemia, lupus, among others. Many parents including mine have suffered from hideous comments and talk by people within the Ghanaian community because they have an autistic son – which is unfair and pathetic. Churches, schools, community groups and society as a whole within the Black community need a lot of sensitization on this condition so some pastors can stop blaming grandparents of being witches/wizards responsible for the condition or others accusing siblings of being responsible. Ignorance is no longer an excuse because these strong and false accusations have and can break homes and create a lot of confusion within families. Some marriages have broken down as a result of this condition and mostly mothers are left alone to deal with it all alone which is extremely challenging. Despite the support available especially in developed countries and almost non-existent in developing countries (which is gradually changing), it is still not an easy condition to deal with. 

The truth is autism has no cure – it can only be managed. It can take its toll on parents, carers, siblings, community among others including the stigma families with autistic children face but as a community, we need to understand that it is not these children’s fault they were born this way. The only thing we can do is support families and children with autism in any way we can to help destigmatize autism.

Recently, the GUBA foundation showcased the art work of Ama Antwiwaa Amponsah, an 11 year autistic girl who has incredible talent. For someone who is non verbal, it is inspiring to see how she uses art as a form of communication to the rest of the world. The successful exhibition of Ama’s art work goes to show the incredible talent that can be uncovered when we celebrate autism in all spheres. We definitely need all hands on board to destigmatize autism and this is exactly what this project is preaching. Check out the GUBA Foundation website and our Instagram page to follow our work and upcoming initiatives in destigmatising autism. #AutismIamNotaStigma

Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for another post soon!

Few days ago, I watched the interview of Hollywood Actress, Regina King, as she opened up about her late son, Ian, who tragically passed away two years ago.

During the interview, Regina said something powerful which a lot of people resonated with ‘Grief is love that has nowhere to go‘. Whew! Profound! She is absolutely right!

A lot of people say, eventually the pain goes away – which I disagree with. When someone you truly care about or love passes, there is little chance that you won’t feel the pain ever again – maybe it reduces over time but as to it going away completely, NOPE!

Regina’s son died by suicide – a very sensitive topic I will delve into in a later post. Most of the time, people blame suicide victims and accuse them of being selfish – a senseless thing to say. But then again, these are opinions! Regina, again, did not blame Ian for taking his life but rather expressed how angry she felt towards God about the pain Ian carried – he did not deserve that. Also, she mentioned that she respects the fact that he did not want to be here anymore (Whew!). Obviously, she is still in the grieving process and may grieve for the rest of her life but the fact that she acknowledges her son’s struggles and respects the choice he made therein made me respect her so much!

The truth is nobody including yourself can prepare you for grief. I would have never thought that I would lose my grandma 3 days after I last saw her in 2021. Honestly, the biggest shock of my life. I cried once and did not cry again till a few days ago. I have been having flashbacks of growing up with her and the moments we shared together. She was a mother to me and her death has had an impact on me. I like to believe she is in a better place but it always isn’t easy even when I choose to think about it in that way.

My grandma was quite old, in her 80s but I wished she lived a bit longer. There were things I promised her that I never got the opportunity to do. I think for me that is what makes me more sad. But they say God knows best! I want to believe that but sometimes I just can’t. I loved my grandma so much – I wish I told her that more often and probably had the opportunity to spend more time with her in her last days – I would say I am blessed to have grown up with her and her taking care of me – despite her strong and complicated personality, I knew she loved me to bits.

They say acceptance is the last stage of grief – where you finally acknowledge that the person is gone forever and there is absolutely nothing you or anyone can do about it. You have to live with that. This is easier said than done because you will miss this person when you hear their favourite song or something that reminds you of them, their favourite movie, things you used to do together etc. yet they are nowhere to be found! How crazy is that? How do you live with that?

Towards the end of the interview, Regina mentioned that her favourite thing ever is being Ian’s mom. I love the way she still referred to him as though he was still alive – that may be her only way of dealing with grief. And one way or the other I can also say one of my favourite things ever is being my grandma’s granddaughter who she did not play with!

I miss her so much and wish I could have done more for her and that she was still here today – but she is in heaven now. I am glad she is resting in peace!

To whoever may be reading this, I hope you find a way to go through the grieving process and also find a way to live regardless of the pain or hurt. I can relate somewhat. But by God’s Grace, we will be fine. May the souls of all departed loved ones rest in peace!

Take care and I will see you soon with another post in a bit.