We live in a society where it is almost as though if you are at a certain age and you are single, you have committed a crime (especially 30 and above). You are not spared criticisms, nasty looks and constant reminders of how your biological clock is ticking and how you need to settle down and all sorts…from churches, families (the WORST!), neighborhoods, friendship groups and so on.
It is quite unfortunate. Because you would think that you are living your life for people or you owe people explanations regarding how YOU choose to live YOUR life. IT’S CRAZY!
What triggered this post is that a few weeks ago, a certain ‘prophetess’ and her ‘prophet’ husband based in London were dragged on social media, especially on Twitter (my favorite app). I hardly say this but they did DESERVE every bit of it!
So these two people are not married yet (they only got married last week). They thought it wise to organize a ‘Kingdom Relationships Masterclass’ and charge ridiculous prices for it – all in the name of influencing young people especially women to date right or whatever.
First of all, I will not attend a masterclass on relationships/dating. It is a COMPLETE waste of my precious time. Secondly, I will not attend a masterclass with two young people who have not even married yet. What are you going to tell me that I already do not know or experienced? (We are both not married? HELLO?). Thirdly, these things don’t guarantee you will have a successful relationship (based on whatever you are taught). I strongly believe that relationships are a matter of luck. You can do all the right things, be the right person and will still be screwed up BIG TIME! Life does not have a manual nor do relationships! Lastly, these guys are SCAMMERS! They found a smart way of paying for their wedding because why should I pay £350 (early bird) and £500 (late) for a ‘masterclass’ which will be held virtually and add insult on top of the injury that I will have ‘a full livestream of your wedding’. As what exactly? Even the Royal Wedding we watched on TV for FREE! Let’s be SERIOUS please!
I am glad people spoke against how some churches and preachers go on and on about marriage, dating, relationships and so on and so forth in most of their sermons. I am not totally against these but it’s the signal they are sending that worries me. It is almost as if being single especially as a woman is a SIN meanwhile I am yet to see anywhere in the Bible or any other religion that says so. I would prefer to see more balanced sermons on relationships that inasmuch as marriage may have its benefits, it is NOT for everyone. Let’s be realistic! Being single or getting married is a choice and everyone should decide what they want.
Some preachers need to stop targeting their sermons at single women hence influencing their desperation to settle and to get married (just to fit in) only to be filled with regrets later on. These things happen every now and then. Some churches are known for encouraging women to marry early; so they can have children early and so on and so forth. What makes you think the fact that someone marries early means they will have children early or want to have children that early? Life will SHOCK you!
I mostly see all sorts of ridiculousness on social media day in and day out but what takes the cake is when I saw a video of some women wearing wedding gowns in the name of manifesting their weddings (GOSH!) The most cringey thing I have seen in a while! You can defend this all you want with scripture but it screams DESPERATION! I am yet to see men do these. It is mostly women who are on the altars of prayer praying for marriage and children too. This echoes my thought that society has always been unfair to women because from a young age you are conditioned to want marriage (whether you like it or not). Thus, for some women, their life’s goal is to get married at a certain age (especially in their 20s) and they are GOOD! Whilst there may be nothing entirely wrong with this, it is dangerous to build your whole world around one person or an institution. What happens if it doesn’t happen or if it does and it is not how you envisaged it? Or it wrecks and ruins you? (because the stories about some marriages I read these days convince me that it may not be for me).
I really pray that people have discernment to navigate this crazy world that we find ourselves in because some people have made it their life’s mission to make others miserable by their words, actions and inactions. Don’t be that person or don’t be influenced by them. Like I always say, there is more to life than marriage, careers, friendships among others. Your purpose! Find that and walk it in boldly! If it includes marriage then so be it. If not, so be it! If you desire marriage, take your time, date wisely, pray and be vigilant. Also, be extremely careful of the content you consume on social media, the sermons you listen to, or the youtube/social media couples you follow. They won’t be entirely honest with you (We have witnessed the break ups of some recently). Resist the urge to be pressured into marriage or pay for any ridiculous masterclass on relationships you may not benefit from. Marriage is not the beginning and end of life. Live your life audaciously and be HAPPY! That is all that matters! We are all not getting out alive and as far as I am concerned, there is no marriage in HEAVEN.
Thank you so much for reading! Stay tuned for the last blog post of the year!
Gertrude says...... 