This is something I am certain everyone has had an experience with….well, if you haven’t yet, you may at some point in your lifetime (this is not a curse; it is a part of LIFE).
I am sure you have heard the saying, ‘20 friends cannot play for 20 years‘…this is just basically trying to say that at different levels or stages in one’s life, you will meet different people and have to let go of those you call friends. It is not because you fought with them or had a messy fall out (which may be the case on certain occasions) but sometimes it is a matter of distance, growth, or people wanting different things or not being on the same page or the purpose of that friend being in your life has been fulfilled and it is time for them to leave. AND THAT IS FINE!
The thing about friendship breakups is, it is part of life but sometimes and mostly, how they happen is what matters and sometimes, they HURT.
Growing up, I have had people I called friends that when I look back, they were NOT my friends. They were more like playmates, classmates, acquaintances or school mates hence it is of little wonder that after some years when they either moved out of the neighbourhood or changed schools or for whatever reason distance separated us, I never heard of them again till date. However, there were some of these classmates or school mates who became friends and later became family which is and was a GREAT THING.
But life has a way of happening! Sometimes it is not anyone’s fault…sometimes it is…but the most important thing is, you learn the lessons and move on. What hurts mostly is you thinking maybe you should have done this or shouldn’t have, said this or shouldn’t have or whatever but all those should haves and could haves does not matter in the moment. Because sometimes, people must act a certain way to teach you a lesson you NEED in the next phase, no matter how bad it HURTS.
In the past decade (my 20s), I have lost certain friends…in fact I could have sworn that these people were going to be ‘Friends for Life‘ but that was just me being optimistic and not factoring in the twists and turns of life. Some of these ‘breakups’ were painful, in fact some of them still hurt when I think about it..but we MOVE! Someone might say, maybe reach out and try to fix the relationship but one thing I have come to realise is; it is not every relationship that can remain the same even if it is fixed. Sometimes, you do NOTHING. Just let it go! It was a phase. You both enjoyed it while it lasted. It is time to apply the lessons learned and open yourself up to other meaningful relationships and ensure you do not repeat mistakes you made in that friendship (if you made any).
On the other hand, I know of occasions where people are able to fix broken friendships…GOOD FOR THEM! Most of the time, it is just ego that kills a lot of friendships so if you feel like you were at fault or by all means you do not want to lose a friend, do your part and reach out but also understand that it takes two to tango and that you are not solely responsible for saving whatever is left of that friendship. If the other party is not responding, just MOVE ON!
In the end, life is a journey filled with memories; both good and bad and either of these people contribute to making them. Our human nature makes us entitled to keep people who give us the greatest memories but unfortunately, it does not always work that way because they may leave us at a point and other people may come in and give us the good or even bad ones and may stay forever or also leave at a point. Whichever way, we need to be open minded to the fact that the only permanent person in your life is YOURSELF! (Let that sink in). Regardless of what may or may not happen, enjoy your friendships as long as they last and when they do come to an end (for whatever reason), make peace with it and move on! 🙂
Have you lost a friend recently or before? How did you deal with it? And how are you faring now after it ended?
Thank you so much for reading. It means a lot to me. See you soon with another blog post :). Stay safe and take care!
Gertrude says...... 