For almost two weeks now, the Ghanaian entertainment space and social media have been buzzing with the explosive content of renowned Ghanaian actress Yvonne Nelson‘s memoir, ‘I Am Not Yvonne Nelson‘. I am certain she expected this when she first thought of writing this book…and I bet she was not surprised at all..with the mixed reactions she got.
As a person who does not engage in social media banter, I decided not to rely on the pages and sections of the book that were trending due to its revealing content for instance the revelation that she aborted a baby fathered by celebrated Ghanaian rapper, Michael Owusu Addo known as Sarkodie. Thus, I decided to order a copy of the book and in about 4 days, I had it. I could not wait to read this book for myself and draw my own conclusions irrespective of the takes I had already seen on social media.
Now, for the purpose of this blog, I cannot go into details of everything in the book but I would refer to the things that stood out for me and what my take aways are;
Firstly, I applaud Yvonne for doing this, something that is hardly done in Ghana; nobody wants people to know about the skeletons in their cupboards or dirty little secrets. We all parade ourselves as though we are saints most of the time which we aren’t. She bore it all (or I will say almost all in the book). A lot of people are crucifying her that they did not need to know all these and that it is in the past or she should have died with these secrets instead of broadcasting them…but what you forget is she may be doing this as part of her healing process..something we all do differently. So, I stand with her for telling her story and speaking her own truth, despite the backlash, which is expected anyways.
Towards the end of the book, one thing that stood out for me is, this woman is broken and she is seeking for answers and until she finds it, she may never be at peace. I honestly pray she finds these answers, the biggest being, knowing who her father is. I have seen different takes on the issue and it is quite interesting. Some are blaming her for disgracing her mother and not being appreciative of her ability to take care of her despite her absentee father, others are calling her ungrateful, others are saying they have had it worse and that she should be thankful. Whilst these comments may be valid, her reason for putting this out there is also valid. Besides, I am positive that if her mum had not lied to her on two different occasions concerning the identity of her father, this book may have never happened. I am still trying to understand why her mother towed this path of hiding her father from her for almost 4 decades. Whatever her reasons are, has done more harm than good!
We live in a society where childhood trauma and neglect is not regarded as much as it should be. Yvonne has definitely suffered both and it is not surprising that this has played out in some of the decisions she made when it comes to her relationships. I am nobody to judge her for who she dated or decides to date but it appears that if she had a father figure or fatherly love, she would have made better choices in men and what she does in those relationships therein. One thing that also stood out for me is the similarity in her mum’s story and hers. Her mum only got to know her father years later after he had passed away and as such bore a wrong surname almost all her life, her mum was not on good terms with her mum (Yvonne’s grandmother), her mum almost aborted her (Yvonne) at 6 months. The only reason she did not was because the doctor declined to proceed with the abortion. Fast forward Nelson is not Yvonne’s ‘real’ surname as Mr Okoe Nelson is not her biological father, she is currently not on good terms with her mum due to her unwillingness to reveal the identity of her dad, she had an abortion because she and Sarkodie at the time were both not ready to raise a child although the latter has come out to say he wanted her to keep it…
Furthermore, Yvonne also suffered in terms of education which saw her resit some papers after secondary school before gaining admission to university three years after secondary school.She mentioned she was studying a course she did not like and she did not even like the secondary school she attended (Aggrey Memorial School) in the first instance. It was more like a tradition in the family as her older siblings also attended that school. She was not regarded and respected at home because of her ‘unsatisfactory’ grades hence music was her getaway from the school and the course she hated. This is something most people growing up can relate to. As much as grades are important, that is not all there is to education and the bigger picture; life. Instead of using demeaning words to encourage or force children to study certain courses or attend certain schools, why not support them to see where their other strengths lie and then tap into it? A lot of African parents are guilty of this and need to do better! She mentions that she only started getting respect when she found fame through movies and money started coming in but was viewed unserious when she used to rap in school and was heavily influenced by the 90s hip hop culture. Sigh! Money and fame it is!
She also mentions her dealings in the movie industry (her ban, sexual exploitation of some movie producers/directors, her encounters in Nigeria) among others which is something other actors have spoken about countless times. It is a crazy industry and even crazier world especially when you want to take the steps and have your dignity intact instead of taking the elevator and giving in to certain demands one may regret later. It is a COLD world out there.
I have taken a thing or two from this book. The most important being that we are all fallible, we should treat each other with kindness and that the celebrity lifestyle/bubble is just for ‘show’ (no wonder it is called showbiz). Behind the glitz and glamour are humans who go through the issues you and I face on a daily basis…hence do not always wish to be like them because you have no idea what they deal with behind cameras. Yvonne stated that this is part of the reason she wrote the book and I guess she may have succeeded to an extent, as there others who still insist the book and revelations were unecessary.
Whatever it is your opinion of the book is, think about a young girl who is broken from childhood through to adulthood and a BIG piece of her is still missing, the man who fathered her. Whether alive or dead, fair or dark, tall or short…she does not know and the only person who has the answer to this refuses to disclose it to her. Do you know how crazy that sounds and how it could mess a person? The possibility of incest for example? No you don’t, because you aren’t in her shoes and will never be!
I hope you enjoyed my review. Have you read the book? What is your take? It is available on Amazon and Apple Books if you are interested in reading. You should. Once you start, you would not want to put it down. It took me about 5 to 6 hours to finish reading.
I will see you soon with another post. Stay blessed!
Gertrude says...... 