ADULTING….

Hello everyone,

Hope we are all well and surviving..I used the word surviving because LIFE IS HARD! And like we say, ‘Wahala no dey finish‘ loosely translated as ‘There will always be problems‘.

I am sure most of you my readers can relate to the term ‘adulting’ and may have probably used it or seen it across social media. Well, the term is often associated with challenges which comes with adulthood or being a grown up which most people say it is a scum. And will I agree? Yes! To a large extent.

Growing up, I always saw adults within my family and neighbourhood as having freedom to do lots of things I as a child did not have the freedom or better put the right to do so. This included, going out and coming in anytime they wanted, not having to give explanations to anyone regarding their actions, making your own decisions, in summary being in charge of your OWN LIFE! (and oh I forgot, having more meat with your food…yes because in African households adults get more meat than children even though children need more protein..LOL!). Anyways, these were some of the reasons why I in particular could not wait to be an adult especially the FREEDOM aspect. But what happened when I became an adult finally? HMM! (And I am not referring to when I turned 18 because I was stil depending on my parents and living at home…this adulting I am referring to, for me, was after I completed my Bachelor’s Degree (between the ages of 22 and 23) and now the question everyone will be asking is ‘WHAT NEXT?’

The what next means, now, your life is in your hands and you are responsible for it going forward…Is it going to be work, postgraduate degree, gap year or for some marriage… It’s the decisions upon decisions that one is faced with and the opportunity costs involved when decisions are made and the daily challenges one has to face day in day out (without a breather) that makes this adulting thing no child’s play! Like you are not even done with one problem and then another is saying hello! or just warming up to you…Sigh!

But then, how have I handled it so far…I will just say I am doing my best; trying to enjoy life amidst the problems that I know will always come in different shapes, sizes and degrees at different stages in life. When I have the opportunity to talk to my long time friends (most from secondary school) I realise that we share similarities in the challenges we are all facing and we end up talking about them and encouraging each other with kind words. And mind you, sometimes we reschedule our calls three or four times because of ‘adulting’…like it isn’t easy!

And oh one thing I love about adulting is despite the challenges life throws at you and you are meant to be handle them like a pro, it teaches you a lot about yourself and also helps you to grow as a person. You lose friends and you learn one or two things from that (whether the friendship ended on good or bad terms), you embrace your personality and flaws and understand that you are only human and making mistakes is inevitable, you learn to distance yourself from negativity (by distancing yourself from drama even it includes family for your own mental health sake). You just learn to live your damn life!

Personally, that is what we all have to do. Live our lives because we only live once and this adulthood stage is longer than our childhood stage hence the earlier we start to embrace it all and enjoy it despite the challenges we face, the better. And while at it, do not (I repeat), DO NOT allow anybody pressure you especially when it comes to marriage and having children..these two are good but not essential for a happy life. If not anything, with what I see and read about marriages and relationships day in, day out, I am convinced many people should not have ventured into it but they did due to the fact that they were 25 and perceived to be ripe for marriage, hence they jumped into it. Be guided! And irrespective of your age, you can always make it and your dreams can always come true! So don’t think because you are 30 and have not made it yet, you are a failure! Do not let anyone pressure you (especially on social media) because our destinies are different. Eventually, we will all make it, maybe not at the time we want, but we will!

To conclude, adulting is HAAAAAARRDD! But I am doing it with the help of God, great friends and loved ones. A good support system is all you need to navigate adulting..hope you have that if not, I hope you find one!

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. There is so much more to say but maybe another time. Chop life! Be happy! You Only Live Once!